


Sheltered Outcasts

by DearLazerBunny



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 17:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13815780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLazerBunny/pseuds/DearLazerBunny
Summary: Summary: based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.*No spoilers for the episode*





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.

"I'm going undercover."  
He said this casually, as you were finishing your tea and lingering over the breakfast table. You squinted at him through the morning sun at his spot at the sink, efficiently scrubbing plates of syrup and crumbs.

"Undercover? Don't you have people for that?"  
He laughed a little at your confusion, shaking suds off his hands. "Not exactly, sweetheart. Cops go undercover for cases in their particular units. We're all trained for it at the academy. It'll... It'll just be for a short while. No big deal."

You could tell your boyfriend was trying to slap a smile over the words coming out of his mouth, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, not you. Quietly, you set your tea down and padded over to Sonny, now looking out the window, and slipped your arms around his waist, letting your head rest against the back of his ratty old police shirt he refuses to get rid of. He sighed and wrapped your arms around him tighter, weaving his fingers into your left hand and bringing it up to kiss.

Your words were muffled against his back. "What kind of undercover?"

He groaned, playfully spinning you around until you were facing him, hands on your waist to keep you steady as you swayed to the side, dizzy. "This is the last think I want to think about with my beautiful girlfriend-" a kiss, chastely pressed to your forehead- "on this beautiful morning-" a peck on the nose- "after this wonderful breakfast-" a teasing bite on your earlobe- "that someone wonderful made-" He finally captured you in a sweet kiss, running his tongue along your bottom lip to taste the sugar left behind from breakfast. You arched into him, running your hands through his hair and lacing them behind his neck. Damn, the man was a good kisser. Who knew innocent little Sonny had some bite to him?

"Wait, no!" You pull away abruptly, pointing an accusatory finger in front of Carisi's face as he leans back in for you. "Do not change the subject! What kind of undercover work?" You widened your eyes as a thought passed through your head. "It's not... it's not really dangerous, is it? Sorry, that's probably a stupid question-" Sonny laughed and brought his forehead down to yours, enjoying the closeness.

"It's not stupid, Y/N. Let's sit down, okay?"

You let him lead you to the couch, settling among the cushions- him on the left, you on the right, just how it'd been since the first date you had: a classic under the stars, projected on a screen set up in Central Park. He insisted he sit on the left, because that was the side closest to the road. "In case you hate me and want to make a quick getaway," you'd teased, wrinkling your nose at those blue eyes that'd made you daydream around the office for months. He kissed you to shut you up, and you felt like fireworks were going off above you.

"Y/N? Did you hear me?"

"What?" Sonny was looking at you insistently, and a little amused, like he knew you weren't listening. "Yeah, I... say that again for me?" You said sheepishly as a blush spread across your cheeks.

"Where'd you go?"

You sighed, nostalgically. "Central Park. First date."

"Some Like it Hot," Sonny grinned, pulling you into his lap. "Who knew it would be so relevant?"

"Dominick Carisi!" Laughing, you pushed him away. "What would your mother say?"

"So, about this job..."

"That's what I thought," you said, sticking your tongue out him. "Now spill."

"Alright, alright, I'm going." He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, once again reaching for the comfort of your hand, twining them with his own.

"It's at a...homeless shelter, of sorts."

He paused. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad..?" you ventured, trying to coax the rest out of him.

"It's a shelter for registered sex offenders."

Oh. "And who will you be? A guard there or something?"

He kissed the top of your head. "An... well, they're not really inmates, I suppose. A resident."

Oh.  
  
"Sonny." You twisted around to face him, worried. "You're going to have to pretend to be a rapist?"

He smiled wryly. "Pedophile, actually. My lucky day, right?"

You were not amused. "Will you be able to handle that? Tell me the truth." His eyes turned a little darker as he looked towards the sky, seemingly trying to comprehend all that he was in for.

You knew Sonny like the back of your hand. He was the best man you had ever met- sweet, gentlemanly, and absolute about his beliefs. His moral compass was the straightest you'd ever seen. It's what made him such a good match for SVU- he was unfailingly dedicated to the victims and never wavered in the perpetrator's conviction. Could he really get inside the head of the people he arrested, interrogated, locked up every day? You weren't sure. Of course, you believed in his skills as a detective, and his dedication to the job, that was no question.

But would putting himself down on their level do something more to him? Mentally? Emotionally? You didn't know.

"I will do what I have to," he said, a little quiet, and a lot resolute. "It's not ideal, I'll admit. But there's a serial rapist hitting the area and the only thing we know is he might be staying in the shelter. We gotta smoke him out."

"Serial rapist. Lovely. Anything else?"

He knew what you were getting at. Reading your mind, like always. "I'll be okay, sweetheart, you know I can take care of myself. No different than any other cases we've run into."

"Except now you'll be alone, without a uniform or a gun or backup, running around with criminals and they're assuming you're one of them. That's... different, Dominick. That's a lot riding on you." You cupped the left side of his face, softly tracing your thumb across his cheek. He leaned into your touch, but gives you a serious look. His first name coming out of your mouth always had a way of sobering him.

"I'll be doing regular check ins with the squad downtown. There'll be cops two minutes away if something happens."

"Nothing better happen." _You dear, amazing man, how did I get so wrapped up in you_. "You are coming home to me without so much as a bruise, or I will march down to that shelter and prosecute each and every one of them myself."

That made him smile, and you were relieved when a little light filtered back into his eyes. "Ma'am yes ma'am, ADA Y/L/N," he teased, reaching out and pulling you into a kiss. "I'm always coming home to you, sweetheart. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

You were curled up on your bed, buoyed amongst pillows from your old apartment and a quilt Sonny's mom gifted the two of you for Christmas, forlornly watching your boyfriend pack his duffel bag. Shoving the clothes you bought at goodwill in at random- "at least I don't have to worry about wrinkles!"- and his few toiletries laying carefully on top. You spent one last night together, you in his arms, as you both pretended to sleep.

"Remember: I'll call you, but you can't call me. The shelter has a public phone residents can use but doesn't receive calls."

"I remember, Sonny."

"And you've got Lieutenant Benson's number? If anything happens just call her, she'll know how to handle it.

"Yes, and Amanda's. I'll be okay, Sonny, it's you I'm worried about."

"Nah, I've got it all under control." And then he was gone, after one last lingering kiss and a confident smile that warmed you to your toes. But the stillness was already settling in your shared apartment as you wearily crawled back into bed.

It was going to be a long few weeks.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

"Sonny?"

"Hey, sweetheart. Everything okay?"

"I- yeah. I'm fine. I just miss you."

"I know, baby. I miss you too. More than anything. More than a hot shower and decent food, and that's saying something."

"Wow, thank you, I am so flattered."

"You should be. You should see the crap they feed us. My mother would be horrified."

"And I wouldn't?"

"Nah, you eat those, what, lunchabie things? With the cardboard pizza crust and fake cheese? Yeah, you'd fit right in."

"A, they are lunchables, and don't judge me. B, Do you only miss me cause you can't snark at me?"

"Baby, how could you say that? You know I love your... uh...this is a public phone."

"Dominick Carisi, you are a beast."

"Guilty. But I'm yours, so, sorry babe, I think you're stuck with me."

"Mhm. God help me. How are you?"

"I'm okay, doll. I've met everyone, I've settled in. I'm in for an interesting ride, that's for sure."

"Do- do you think you know when you'll be home?"

A heavy sigh. "I don't know, Y/N. Just when we think we've got a lead it twists out of our hands. Too early to tell I think.

"Yeah. Wishful thinking on my part."

"I can appreciate wishful thinking sometimes."

"Okay, well. I know you probably need to go. Please, please be careful."

"Always, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

The phone started ringing just as you were about to leave the office for lunch- a very late lunch, you thought begrudgingly, hearing your stomach rumble. You'd been swamped at work all week, which you were almost grateful for. It made it much easier to keep your mind of Sonny, and kept you at the office that much longer, so you didn't have to face your empty apartment until you were too tired to care. As much as you prided yourself on the independence maintained in your relationship- both of you had your own distinctly different jobs, your own friends- you had to admit Sonny's absence was proving harder to swallow than you thought it would. He'd been gone for a few days before, for particularly gruelling cases, and you traveled a decent amount for your job, but an undetermined amount of time with minimal contact? Yeah, you were missing your daily dose of Sonshine.

 _Geez, Y/N, cheesy much?_ You rolled your eyes at yourself as you picked up the receiver. "Assured Partners, this is Y/N speaking."

"Y/N, it's Amanda. Sorry to bug you at work, but you weren't answering your cell."

Amanda had become one of your favourite detectives at NYPD. Your boyfriend's partner was smart, sweet, and not afraid to fight back, a through-and-through Southern girl sharpened by New York City's edge. The first time you met-after loudly exclaiming her disbelief that 'top button-buttoned Carisi' had a girlfriend- she immediately demanded you exchange numbers. The two of you quickly became friends, bonding over stories-that'll-embarrass-Sonny and favourite bottles of wine.

"Yeah, sorry-" you dug out your phone from under a pile of papers. 4 missed calls, twice as many texts. Whoops. "I just got busy."

"Listen, you need to come down to the station. Sonny is due here in half and hour and- there's been an issue."

"An issue? Define issue," you demanded, already grabbing your coat.

"Um, from what I gathered, something about an assault..." she paused. She gave life-altering news every day on the job, but she was having a hard time delivering it to his partner's girlfriend.

"Spit it out Amanda."

"...with a baseball bat."

"Oh my GOD-"

"Hey, hey, Y/N, listen to me! He says he doesn't need to go to the hospital, but we all know we can take an officer's medical opinion of themselves worth a grain of salt. He's coming here to report, and I thought you might want to be here. Just in case."

"Thank you. I owe you one. And Amanda? Do not let him leave until I see him," you said decisively, briskly ending the call and running to catch the nearest cab idling across the street.

………………………………………………………………………………………………...................................................................

The elevator was glacial, so you took the stairs instead, jumping two at a time as your heart pounded out of your chest. Amanda would say something if he was really hurt, wouldn't she? Oh god, what if he was already at the hospital- he had practically waved off his broken arm a few years ago. Lieutenant Benson probably knows to get him checked out regardless of what he says-

"Y/N? Y/N! Hey, slow down!"

You shook off your thoughts, skidding to a stop amongst officers rushing past with paperwork and coffee. "What-? Amanda. I'm sorry, I just-" you shouldered past, heading for the squad room.

"Y/N, wait." The ice in her voice made you stop, spin around to face her.

“Carisi… is not in a good mood.”

“Well I wouldn’t be either, if I got attacked my a fucking baseball bat!”

“I told him you were on the way and he said he didn’t want to see you.”

Well that…. That can’t be right.

“He doesn’t want to see me?”

She shook her head. “Something about interfering with work, I don’t know.”

“Well he’s just going to have to get over it because there’s no way I’m leaving without making sure he’s okay. And-” You stopped and took a breath, trying to calm yourself down. “I miss him.”

Amanda sighed. “I understand, Y/N, I really do. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

You almost didn't recognise him.

You flew right past the group huddling at the table, heading straight for Sonny’s desk, when you heard his voice: "Somebody up there is committing rapes, and the odds are pretty good it's one of my housemates.”

His eyes were wilder than you'd ever seen, with messy, slept in hair to match.

"Y/N?"

You whirled around in relief. "Sonny, thank god, Amanda said you'd been hurt-" you stopped, taking him in. You didn't see any bruises, any blood. It was hard to believe that your three-piece-suit Sonny was underneath the dirty, unkempt hair and massive grey sweatshirt, but-

"What are you doing here?"

"Amanda said you'd been hurt," you explained again, "I had to make sure you were okay-"

"Well, I'm fine," he said abruptly, pulling his hand away from your own as you tried to reach out to him. "You can go now."

If you didn't know better, you'd almost say he was...angry? That couldn't be right.

"Sonny," you tried again, taking on a more placating tone, "I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. I just wanted to make sure-"

"I am fine."

Well shit. You knew Sonny had a temper, you'd seen him rage and lose his composure before, but never at you. Your small squabbles were always settled before "the voice" came out.

Guess there's a first time for everything.

"Look, Y/N, there's a reason I've only been calling you. There's a reason that Olivia hasn't invited you when I come in to report. This is my job, what's it look like if I constantly have a girl hanging off my shoulder when I'm trying to do business?"

He was pacing the small room, which was nerve wracking, but better than him yelling directly at you.

“Sonny-”

“Stop, okay? If I wanted to see you, I would’ve told someone to call you. Right now you’re just in the way. So get out and let me do my job, okay?”

“I- okay.” You slunk back, coat in your arms, trying to get one last look at him to try and make sure he was at least unhurt. “I’ll just… be going then.”

As you turned and walked off you almost expected him to call after you. To pull you into a hug and say I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. Kiss you on the forehead, and give you one of those patented Sonny smiles.

That didn’t happen. You were barely out of the room before he turned back to talking work with he other gathered detectives.

You tried to subtly wipe the tears from your eyes as you headed for the elevator, anxious to get out of the precinct as quickly as possible. When you passed, Amanda mouthed a silent ‘I’m sorry,’ but you just shook your head and pressed on.

She had warned you; you just should have listened.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

You almost didn't recognise him. You flew right past the group huddling at the table, heading straight for Sonny’s desk, when you heard his voice: "Somebody up there is committing rapes, and the odds are pretty good it's one of my housemates.” His eyes were wilder than you'd ever seen, with messy, slept in hair to match. "Y/N?" You whirled around in relief. "Sonny, thank god, Amanda said you'd been hurt-" you stopped, taking him in. You didn't see any bruises, any blood. It was hard to believe that your three-piece-suit Sonny was underneath the dirty, unkempt hair and massive grey sweatshirt, but- "What are you doing here?" "Amanda said you'd been hurt," you explained again, "I had to make sure you were okay-" "Well, I'm fine," he said abruptly, pulling his hand away from your own as you tried to reach out to him. "You can go now." If you didn't know better, you'd almost say he was...angry? That couldn't be right. "Sonny," you tried again, taking on a more placating tone, "I haven't seen you in almost two weeks. I just wanted to make sure-" "I am fine." Well shit. You knew Sonny had a temper, you'd seen him rage and lose his composure before, but never at you. Your small squabbles were always settled before "the voice" came out. Guess there's a first time for everything. "Look, Y/N, there's a reason I've only been calling you. There's a reason that Olivia hasn't invited you when I come in to report. This is my job, what's it look like if I constantly have a girl hanging off my shoulder when I'm trying to do business?" He was pacing the small room, which was nerve wracking, but better than him yelling directly at you. “Sonny-” “Stop, okay? If I wanted to see you, I would’ve told someone to call you. Right now you’re just in the way. So get out and let me do my job, okay?” “I- okay.” You slunk back, coat in your arms, trying to get one last look at him to try and make sure he was at least unhurt. “I’ll just… be going then.” As you turned and walked off you almost expected him to call after you. To pull you into a hug and say I’m sorry, I’m just stressed. Kiss you on the forehead, and give you one of those patented Sonny smiles. That didn’t happen. You were barely out of the room before he turned back to talking work with he other gathered detectives. You tried to subtly wipe the tears from your eyes as you headed for the elevator, anxious to get out of the precinct as quickly as possible. When you passed, Amanda mouthed a silent ‘I’m sorry,’ but you just shook your head and pressed on. She had warned you; you just should have listened.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

It had been nine days since you'd seen Sonny. Nine days since yelling at each other in the same space he dissects criminals. Nine days since a phone call. You regretted your words with every tick of the clock, but for once, you couldn't be sure what Sonny was thinking. Was he still mad at you? Was he even thinking about you? Had it affected the job he was doing? You didn't know. And that, ironically, made you worry even more.

Your day off had been spent curled up in one of Sonny's favourite sweatshirts and lazing miserably on the couch, trying to cheer yourself up. Even your favourite comedies you had to beg Sonny to watch with you for the fiftieth time lost a little of their luster without his teasing accompanying the punchlines.

As the opening credits were rolling for Legally Blonde, you decided to clear all those missed messages on your phone from the previous week.

"This is a courtesy call from your pharmac-" beep.

"Y/N? It's Amanda. Call me-" beep.

"Hello, Y/N. This is Lieutenant Benson from SVU. I don't want you to panic, Carisi is absolutely fine. I was wondering if you would consider stopping by my office for a minute, I have something I think you'll be interested in. Whenever is convenient for you, just call ahead. Bye now."

You checked the timestamp. Earlier this morning. The thought of going back there ground your heart, but at this point, you'd take any reminder of Sonny you can get.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..........................................................

"Lieutenant Benson?" You knocked lightly on the heavy wood door Amanda had pointed out in the back of the room. "It's Y/N. I got your message that you wanted to speak with me?"

Before you could crack the door further open, the lieutenant was at the door with a warm smile. "Y/N. please, call me Olivia. Come in, come in. Would you like to sit down?

You smiled gratefully and followed her into the room, settling in a chair across from the heavy wooden desk. Truth be told Olivia always made you a bit nervous. Of course she'd never been anything but pleasant to you, but based on the stories Sonny brought home, you knew she could be ruthless- SVU's star detective with a knack for following her gut. The way Sonny talked about her, you'd almost been jealous, until it was clear his fascination was one of respect, not romance.

Now you thought of her almost like the strict mother you needed to impress- Sonny's family liked you, but Sonny's work family were the opinions you really needed on your side.

"I'm glad you were able to come in. How are you doing?"

"Pretty worried," you admitted, nervously clasping your hands together. "I know he can handle himself, but..."

She nodded reassuringly. "I just wanted to let you know that he's been doing well in the investigation. He's made friends, he's earning their trust. No one has any reason to be suspicious of him. And, I wanted to give you these-" she reached under her desk to pull out a stack of envelopes wrapped with a rubber band.

You took them from her, hesitantly, confused at to what she could possibly have to give to you. Flipping through them carefully, you instantly recognized Sonny's neat printing addressing each one.

"He told the shelter he has a wife."

A... "Excuse me?" You stared at her blankly.

"As part of his cover story," she said gently. "They aren't allowed to have phones at the shelter, and after your...discussion during Carisi's last visit, it was clear a peace offering needed to be made. But that's difficult to do when you can't see each other. So Amanda suggested we give you his letters," she smiles, gesturing at the stack in your hands. "Perfectly believable that he would write to a significant other during his stay. He addresses them to the precinct, and we scan them for any pertinent details. But it's clear that... well, that they're meant for you."

 _Dominick, you're so friggin hard to stay mad at._ "How many are there?"

"Oh, about one for every day he's been there," she laughed. "Clearly he's got quite the eye for you."

You felt yourself blush a little. "We're happy together. Generally."

Her eyes softened. "I'm very glad for you both."

"Olivia, they got a hit on-" Amanda came into the room, scanning a file, but stopped short when she saw you. "Oh, sorry, Y/N, I didn't know you were still here."

"Just leaving, actually," you said, rising from your chair. You turn to Lieutenant Benson- "Thank you for everything. And thank you," you smile, lightly hitting Amanda's shoulder, "for the suggestion. "

She spotted the letters in your hand and laughed. "Carisi kept moping around here like a lost puppy after your fight, and I told him if he didn't stop he was in for it." She shrugged nonchalantly. "He might kill me a little bit, but he deserves it."

You gave her a quick hug, grinning. "Thank you," you whispered in her ear, and she nodded.

"We'll be in touch, Y/N," Olivia said as she walks you out to the elevator.

"Yes ma'am. Thank you."

The doors closed, cutting you off from the frantic, erratic energy of SVU in the throes of a complicated case. Softly tracing the words on the outside of an envelope, you smiled to yourself, mentally clearing the rest of your afternoon.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*  
> Chapter Text

After almost a month, Sonny finally came home.

He debriefed the other officers, got checked out by medical, then was sent home for a mandatory week’s leave. You had only gotten notice the morning of that he was expected back, but you had decided to go all out- his favorite dinner, flowers on the table, the works. Sonny always appreciated little things like that.

When he walked through the door in his characteristic suit and tie, you shrieked and threw yourself into his arms, laughing and crying at the same time. It should have been embarrassing, really, except he had dropped his bag with a thud and was hugging you just as tightly.

“Hey, love.” You stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear. “Welcome home.”

He smiled at you and it felt like the world was finally turning again. “Is that lasagna I smell?”

“It might be.” You grinned playfully at him and pulled him towards the kitchen.

The two of you had dinner, cracked open a bottle of wine, and sat with a couple movies, just holding each other and enjoying being in each other’s space. He talked about anything and everything except for the job, and you could understand it- he needed time to process. So you went with it, smiling and joking and teasing right along with him, a quip here and there, catching him up on what had gone down while he was away.

You didn’t realize something was wrong until you woke up that night and noticed he wasn’t beside you.

You wrapped a blanket around your shoulders and padded out to the living room, where Sonny was sitting in the dark, the TV illuminating his face in a cool blue. “Sonny? You okay?”

“Oh, hey, Y/N. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“You didn’t. Is everything okay.”

“C’mere”

He pulled you onto the couch next to him, tucking you under his chin and wrapping his arms around you like he has so many times before. “I just couldn’t sleep.” You could feel his words vibrating through his chest.

“Want to talk about it?”

He sighed, and it sounded like a little piece of him was let go with the air. “I went into that place, I hated those guys. I couldn't even stand to be around them, but after a few days, they just turned into people. Different kinds, like, Searle is malignant, Loomis is damaged, and Caskey, he's all fresh start.”

“Yeah, but aren’t they all… I mean, aren’t they all criminals?”

“Yeah. But you sit down with them, and you talk to them, and you hear their stories…. Most of them are just doing the best with what they’ve got. They’re real people, with feelings and likes and humor and, I don’t know. They all did horrible things, but at the end of the day they’re just… people. I cant get it out of my head.”

You nodded, feeling his heart race a little faster through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. “You’ll forget about them soon enough. Another case will come along, and…”

“But that’s the thing.” He pulled you back so he could look at you, tracing a thumb over your cheek. To your surprise, you thought you saw a glimpse of a tear work its was down his face. “I don’t want to forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Some words in this chapter are not mine, but pulled directly from the episode!  
> I’m definitely going to flesh out the ending eventually, but I was too tired of sitting here staring at this piece. So up it goes.
> 
> Kudos, comments, and bookmarks always appreciated! :) Thanks guys!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on S17E17 of the same name, you and Sonny navigate his first time going undercover- in a shelter for convicted sex offenders.
> 
> *No spoilers for the episode*

_The thing I miss most is waking up in the middle of the night and knowing you’re there next to me._

_Remember that time we had a picnic in Central Park and a duck ran away with my sandwich?_

_When I get back I am cooking us a feast, and then I’m probably going to eat most of it myself, so I apologize in advance._

The letters went on and on. Some were poetic, some were short and harried, all included a slice of life from your little apartment that almost made you cry, some were so sweet. You missed him more than ever, after hearing his voice in your head as you read the letters to yourself. Some information had been marked out, presumably by Olivia as it pertains to the case, but for the most part, Sonny was too busy with his declarations of love to be too concerned with passing on details of a possible perp.

Which made you even more regretful of the fight you had.

You wished you could call him and explain yourself, or at least say you were sorry (though what you were supposed to be sorry for you didn’t quite know). Maybe you could call Olivia or Amanda and tell them to pass on a message? Or just to call you…

It was at that moment the phone rang.

You picked it up at blinding speed, checking the unknown caller ID with hope. “Hello?”

“Y/N.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Sonny. Hey.”

“I’m sorry-” You both laughed as you tried to apologize at the same time. “No, no, you go first.”

His sigh was a rush of static over the line. “You have nothing to apologise for. I practically yelled at you in the middle of the office for no reason.”

“Well… just a bit.”

“I just…” there was a pause. “I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“Oh, Sonny. You could dress like that every day and I’d still love you the same.”

“I know, I know. But still.”

“I understand. I was just worried about you, Amanda said there was an accident-”  
“Really, nothing happened. Some idiots got it in them to come threaten us but another guy had my back.”

“A…. shelter guy?”

“Yeah, names Caskey. Good guy, he’s really working the program.”

“…interesting.”

“Look, I know it seems bad, but… a lot of these guys, they’re just trying to do what they can. They made some mistakes and they’re trying to fix it.”

“I’m glad you’re making friends. Just… try not to get too attached, okay?”

Sonny sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

You wondered what was going through his mind as a silence fell over the two of you.

“Amanda gave me your letters.”

“She did what?”

“The letters, the ones you wrote to your… wife.” The word made you blush and giggle at the same time. “She thought it’d be a nice ‘I’m sorry’.”

“The precinct was supposed to keep those!”

“They took out any information about the case.” You paused. “Look, I’ve only read one or two, if you want me to stop…”

“No, no, sweetheart. It’s fine. I just wasn’t planning on you reading them. They’re a bit… flowery.”

You giggled again. “Yeah, the one about the smell of my shampoo was really nice.”

“I’m never living that down, am I?”

“Nope. Sorry babe.”

“I guess you’re worth it. I guess.”

“Sonny!”

“Kidding, honey. Hey, I gotta go, okay? But ill call you tomorrow, cross my heart.”

You clutched the phone harder to your ear, like it would magically make him stay on the line longer. You missed him so much. “O- okay. Sonny, I love you. And be careful.”

“I love you too.”

 


End file.
